Reviews - Page 2 - Z.E.R.O. Zombie Extermination, Research and Operations Kit by OpticsPlanet Reviews - OP-SZ-ZERO-KIT1

Author: FeartheSponge from UndertheSea, Pacific Ocean on Jul 20, 2012
Would recommend:  yes

FeartheSponge wrote:

I think we can all agree that Spongbob MURDERpants is a greater threat to national security.

Author: HarryZebras from Cincinnati, OH on Jul 19, 2012
Would recommend:  yes

HarryZebras wrote:

Sign me up! Just kidding. Too expensive.

Author: DaleJr from Baton Rouge, LA on Jul 17, 2012
Pros:  Best glove to hand ratio over found!
Cons:  No eagles were harmed in the making of this kit. I don't like eagles
Would recommend:  yes

DaleJr wrote:

Let's get this first part out of the way: I'm a little shy at times. I don't know how to approach strangers in a way that isn't off-putting. This makes it incredibly difficult to date or make friends... UNTIL NOW. I had to make a decision recently between buying a motorized mode of transportation and a zombie kit. I weighed the pros and cons of the two options and outside of being able to get a job somewhere other than Chuck E. Cheese I really didn't have a secondary use for a car. But night vision? A knife? Rifle Bags? Oh, I have a need. I have a massive, throbbing need. And this zombie kit satisfies that need in a way that I've never known before. You see, there's this girl. June. And I love June but she doesn't know I exist. She works the ticket counter at work. She has an adorable smile, with a full complement of teeth, a ponytail with far less hair than you'd expect on a girl (she makes it work), single eyebrow connected with a beautiful bridge of feathered hair and ...
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Author: SamsonNotDelilah from NYC, NY on Jul 16, 2012
Pros:  Very lightweight and easily portable
Cons:  Not intimidating enough.
Would recommend:  yes

SamsonNotDelilah wrote:

Roses are red, violets are blue, I bought a zombie kit, so my brain stays un-chew...ed. Alright, so that didn't work like I planned. What DOES work is my Zombie Kit, as I have taken down over 45 zombie murderers in the last three days. They may have also been garden gnomes. UNDEAD garden gnomes! I know many of you think I could have simply left my neighbor's garden alone, but that's because you're all cowards and I'm awesome and you should stop thinking so much and let me be the leader and I want a donut but the zombie started with donut makers and so now I have no donuts or sentence structure and there's a small pony on my porch that I can't ride because of his bad back and I wish I knew an eight letter word for potatoes but there simply isn't one and I sometimes watch Morgan Freeman movies because he has a soothing voice but that doesn't make me weird it makes me a gentle soul but if I had a map to your heart I'd probably draw a heart over the X because that's nicer and I'd never ...
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Author: NoLipPhillip from Dallas, TX on Jul 13, 2012
Pros:  Fits my luxurious yet miserly lifestyle
Cons:  There are no ex-cons in this kit. Why would you ask that?
Would recommend:  yes

NoLipPhillip wrote:

I've never known a man who can eat an apple without getting something stuck in his teeth. I've also never known a man who can survive the zombie apocalypse without the ZERO kit. And I've known a lot of men who've survived Z Day. So what's awesome about this zombie kit? Where can I start? Perhaps with the solar charger. Foolish you say? Why not start with a knife or night vision? BECAUSE I'M A THINKING MAN'S ZOMBIE SURVIVOR. Obviously. Not only can I charge my 2nd generation iPod from 2006, I can also sit on the charger once charging is complete and warm my bum. Did you see those two birds? I took them down with one stone. But let's also continue. Continue with the BATTLE MUG. This tactical tool for my arsenal actually complements my pooch, who is now a Battle PUG. His snorted breathing, adorable face and all around inability to achieve anything outside of adorableness makes him the perfect companion for the Battle Mug. If I held it women's eyes would spontaneously combust. ...
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Author: JohnWaynesBane from Oklahoma City, OK on Jul 12, 2012
Pros:  Jealousy-Inspiring
Cons:  No mustache trimmer.
Would recommend:  yes

JohnWaynesBane wrote:

I base my review, much like I base my life, on a series of questions. First, will this make me more manly? Unfortunately, this is no longer possible due to my decision six months ago to growth a pencil-thin mustache. Others may find this Zombie Kit does improve their manly-attributes. Second, how likely is this to make my job (buffalo riding) easier? It's again unfortunate that the zombie kit has little that would aid me in riding buffalo across the plains. That said, the sunglasses would look cool and hide some of my face tattoos, thus allowing me to trick more buffalo into allowing me a ride (buffalo are notoriously fickle about who rides them, which is why I'm paid a whopping $31.5 THOUSAND per YEAR... ladies.) Third, will this make me a source of jealousy for others? There it is. Thank you, zombie kit. In addition to my job, mustache and hip dysplasia I'm already very well regarded, but this has really put others on notice. Men and women everywhere look at me, ...
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Author: QueenGemma from Denmark on Jul 12, 2012
Would recommend:  yes

QueenGemma wrote:

Great addition to my werewolf defense kit!

Author: Badmothatrucker from Dallas, Texas on Jul 11, 2012
Would recommend:  yes

Badmothatrucker wrote:

Holy hot damn on a piece of cornbread! Being from the greatest state of all I know great gear and this is great gear! When z-poc comes you better believe two things. I'm gonna wack some zombie skulls and chili don't have no friggin beans! My girl skeeter and I play get the zombie all the time around the camp ground. One time Sketter bug hid over in Ms.Dancunts rose bushes and I couldn't find her something fierce. I just slapped on my NV goggles and yeepeekyaw! I found skeeter bug all up in that prickly bush! Well my friends... Here's Badmothatrucker signing out!

Author: Paranoid Medic from Fort Wayne, IN on Jul 11, 2012
Pros:  Good amont of stuff
Cons:  No firearms included in 23+K kit
Would recommend:  no

Paranoid Medic wrote:

Kit has some good stuff but is missing a vital tool for the Zombie Apocalypse. The firearms.Some of the things in this kit is firearm specific and if you do not have the firearm in your arsenal,it is justed wasted,unused equipment.

Author: ClaytheKing from Charming, CA on Jul 10, 2012
Pros:  Increased virility, massive gains in muscle, see through walls (on most trailers), great for prairie dog shooting
Cons:  Be ready for more kids, as enhanced virility will cause fatherhood
Would recommend:  yes

ClaytheKing wrote:

This kit deserves 5 stars based solely on the great price and sweet zombie gear, but let me just say, it has changed my life forever. Not only do I feel safer now and more prepared for the inevitable zombie apocalypse of 2012, but I have been seeing a lot of positive side effects. The first benefit I realized was that this kit will make you into a real man. Upon opening the package, I instantly gained 30lbs of muscle. My wife says I look like a bodybuilder now, but I think I look more like a professional athlete. Second, You can say goodbye to male enhancement (natural or otherwise), when I unpacked the included ACOG scope and mounted it on my AR15, all the women in my trailer park got pregnant. This, I think, is a con of the kit, I already have 12 kids. 8 of my kids are boys and I was showing off the awesome Blackhawk gloves by punching the tree that I tie my pickup truck to (so it doesn't roll down the hill), and I broke the damn thing in half. This was awesome all by itself, ...
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