Review for Z.E.R.O. Zombie Extermination, Research and Operations Kit by OpticsPlanet

Author: JohnWaynesBane from Oklahoma City, OK on Jul 12, 2012
Pros:  Jealousy-Inspiring
Cons:  No mustache trimmer.
Would recommend:  yes

JohnWaynesBane wrote:

I base my review, much like I base my life, on a series of questions. First, will this make me more manly? Unfortunately, this is no longer possible due to my decision six months ago to growth a pencil-thin mustache. Others may find this Zombie Kit does improve their manly-attributes. Second, how likely is this to make my job (buffalo riding) easier? It's again unfortunate that the zombie kit has little that would aid me in riding buffalo across the plains. That said, the sunglasses would look cool and hide some of my face tattoos, thus allowing me to trick more buffalo into allowing me a ride (buffalo are notoriously fickle about who rides them, which is why I'm paid a whopping $31.5 THOUSAND per YEAR... ladies.) Third, will this make me a source of jealousy for others? There it is. Thank you, zombie kit. In addition to my job, mustache and hip dysplasia I'm already very well regarded, but this has really put others on notice. Men and women everywhere look at me, gangsta leaning on the back of a buffalo with a hint of milk in my mustache AND a zombie kit, and their eyes darken with envy. It's a good feeling.