This hat gave me the power to bend time and space. - Propper Sun Hat/Boonie, 65/35 Poly/Cotton Rip

The title pretty much explains it all. This hat pretty much gave me all encompassing power over the very fabric of existence. This hat combined with my three wolf T-shirt pretty much makes me a god, or at least some sort of demi-god. I'm not saying I'm THE GOD, just maybe some sort of lesser deity now. Not sure what would happen if I take it off, but I don't plan on doing that any time soon. So, aside from being very comfortable and easily able to blend into any number of settings due to it's multi-cam style pattern, this hat is ridiculously awesome. I might fill the hat band with 12 gauge slugs or possibly the teeth of some sort of reptilian monster that I throttle with my bare hands on some far distant planet or other dimension now that I'm able to teleport to those places and possess superhuman strength, all thanks to the hat of course.